Finding the Sweet Spot in Vulnerability

This past summer a number of things occurred in my life that made me subconsciously close down shop. I stopped taking photographs with my digital SLR, I stopped blogging, I didn't want to make new friends, in essence I didn't want to be vulnerable. On the surface I may have seemed fine. I have to admit that even to myself I was completely fine. I functioned on a level that was "normal," completing all of the daily tasks that make my little world inside the Avery House keep going. I was "happy" and felt like perhaps, just maybe, I had outgrown my prior interest in photography, blogging, reaching out to others (yes, I categorized friendships as an interest. Sad, I know.)

 It never really hit me that I had shut all of that out because of the fact that each and every one of those interests were possible ways in which I could become vulnerable. And vulnerable was NOT on my agenda any more.
It was not until recently, after 5 months of holing up in my Amy lock down mode, that I realized what I had been doing. Howie mentioned, "Hey, do you even use your camera any more?" "Sure I do," I replied,  "like all the time, but my SD card is broken and I just don't have time to get a new one." As the words rolled over my lips I knew how really silly what I was saying sounded. So I went out a couple of weeks later, bought a new SD card, dusted off my camera and started shooting photos again. They say that in anything that you enjoy there is a time that you find your "sweet spot" and it just all starts to click. Ironically, I think that there is a sweet spot in vulnerability too. If we don't allow ourselves to become vulnerable, then we miss out on making meaningful connections with others in our lives. Through becoming vulnerable we show courage and we encourage others to join in. We move along together in that vulnerability into the life that we were meant to lead. As Advent approaches, I think of how amazing it is that God sent the most vulnerable human form, the infant Jesus, to become the Savior of us all. In vulnerability we are born again and resurrected into the person we were intended by God to be. As I ease back into my interests I am ripping a band-aid off to expose a very tender heart. But I am thankful for the opportunity to find that sweet spot in vunerability. It gives me hope and gives me life. And the vunerability is well worth the uncomfortableness in order to really live my life as God has planned for me to live it. For everyone, I hope that you are able to find your own sweet spot in vunerability and to know that you are not alone in your efforts.

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