Lord, Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace

St. Francis of Assisi has always been a person who has sparked my interest ever since I was a young school girl. I can remember sitting in a school mass at St. Anne Church listening to one of the priests, perhaps Father Heimer, delivering a sermon about Francis' life, sharing that he had been a rich nobleman of his time who had given up all of his worldly possessions to lead a simple life dedicated to the service of God and others. I remember thinking to myself that that would be so hard to give up everything that you owned in order to be God's servant. Even at a young age, I knew the sacrifice Francis made in order to really dedicate his life to God. I also contemplated at a young age if I would be able to give up my worldly possessions in order to live as Francis lived. As a child, I had all that I needed, but I also lived amongst others who had lots more than me. I knew what it meant not to have material items in excess, what it meant to want something but to not have enough money to actually have that desired object. I also knew the feeling of self inflicted shame in knowing that I did not have what others had materialistically. As a child, the idea of giving up material wealth was almost ludicrous as I never knew what it meant to have material wealth. Yes, I had what I needed, but I was also very poor in relationship to all of those around me. At the same time, however, I was also very blessed to be placed in situations in which I was given the opportunity to serve others who actually did have less than me. The Catholic schools that I attended gave me the opportunity to see that I was indeed very fortunate and that others needed my help too. I felt a connection to those whom I served as I knew what actual want was, even though those whom I served were in want of what I already had, basic food and housing and clothing needs. 

 As I grew older and obtained the ability to earn money and to experience a time in my life in which I had enough  to have the things that I wanted outside of what I needed I lost my sense of knowing what true want was. At first it was awesome to be able to buy the things that I wanted any time I wanted something. But that awesome feeling soon faded and soon became a problem as I purchased more and more and more things that I thought would make me happy. My relationship with God was never compromised, but my overwhelming feeling that he was being encroached upon by my pursuit of material things caused me much pain and anguish.

 One day, not so long ago, it finally dawned on me that I had a materialism problem. For the first time in my life I realized I had way to much stuff, and that that stuff was strangling me. I began to purge my home of excess stuff. I also began to pray that God would help me as I sought to let go of my need to purchase items of want to make me happy. It has been a process, a long process of letting go of things and of letting God fill those voids in which I thought I needed things to make me happy.

 We recently celebrated the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi at our church with our Blessing of the Animals ceremony. In celebrating the life of Francis, I understand a little more of why he gave up all of his material possessions in order to better serve God. God does not ask that we give up all of the things that we have, but what he does ask is that we not let those things take us away from him and our ability to live fully into the persons he has called us to be.

 Through living simply, Francis discovered that he was rich in God's love in the world that God created around him. He discovered that God is everywhere and in everything in nature. He became a steward of animals and in bringing love, comfort and peace to others.

 As I continue to trust in God and let go of my need to be find happiness in material things, I pray that God will make me an instrument of his peace and will help me to serve others with a joy that only God can fill in my heart.

I also pray that God will show me how I can serve others in need of not only material needs but also spiritual needs. In trusting in God and allowing him to fill us up with his love we in turn are able to shine his light to others so that they may also receive God's peace and love.